We have teenagers...2 (Plus a little guy but he is still mostly just a fireball)! Teens are undeniably erratic and selfish. Life is usually fine and sometimes INSANE! When things are good we read, talk, pray, learn, listen, watch, play etc. When things are bad we cry and pray and yell and pray some more. Recently things went from good to really really bad. I wept at the drop of a hat and prayed with my tears more than words. But I felt the intense embrace from the Lord during those few days. We encouraged each other and tried to not get short tempered with the 2 other ones not causing immediate pain to us and remember that they were in turmoil too.
In recent months with our small group we have read through the Psalms. It has irritated me that David writes so "whiney" and that he doesn't seem to just stay within the knowledge and trust of God. Then Friday came to this home, and Saturday, and Sunday, and Monday where we cried out "WHY US? WHY THIS? WHY...WHY...WHY? BUT... we WILL trust in the Lord our God whose plans are for our and our children futures to be full of hope and life." We did not distrust God even in our painful moments and yet we felt safe enough that we could pray and cry out to him.
Today... I feel much more at peace with the Psalms. Understanding that David didn't just lose his faith every time something hard happened, just that he felt secure enough to voice his pain is life giving to me. I did not lose my faith or my trust in my holy, heavenly God this past weekend...I depended on him to listen and take care of the situation in our behalf. I read this morning in Psalm 119 that "your mercies run into the billions, following your guidelines revive me...[I do not want to be one who] walks away from your promises casually!"
So when asked to" pause and imagine God's love pouring over me" I can do that with joy!
(for those of you that know and love us... please know that all is well. No one is injured or in danger or in any issue that is life lasting. We still covet your prayers for coming days and weeks for things to smooth out but we are all healthy and together)