Unpacking LWGFC: The Curse of the Memory Verse

I have seen more poo flung over whether children should be forced or invited or rewarded or coerced to memorize verses of Scripture. I have seen entire children’s departments lose their ever-loving-minds over this issue.

So I’d like to start off by taking a nice, long, deep breath. Inhale… Exhale… There.

One more if you need to. That’s better.

Children learn in various ways. Some learn through observation, others must touch everything.  They connect with others in various ways as well. Some need to be hugged and held, others need constant words of affirmation.

There isn’t really a “one size fits all” mold of how children will grow in their life with God. Likewise children will not encounter Scripture in the same way. 

Some children will thrive on Scripture memory, pursuing every jot and tittle will encourage and thrill them to no end. They might see their success in memorizing as a commentary on their relationship with God, which it is not.

Some children will be turned off by Scripture memory; they will see their struggle to memorize as a commentary on their relationship with God. Which it is not.

The ability to memorize is not a reflection of a child's connection with God. 

However, memorizing not only molds the mind, but also the soul. The Scripture that children commit to memory will stay with them for a lifetime. Scripture memory is encouraged, even commanded. Psalm 119: 9, 11, Joshua 1:8, 2 Tim. 3:16, Deut. 11:18, Psalm 1:1-3, Col. 3:16… and so on.

What do we do with this tension? We live in it. In Life with God for Children we decided to embrace both positions. Yes, Scripture memory is profitable and necessary. Yes, memorizing it word for word is not for every person. 

Here are a few tips to live in the tension.

1.     We provide a focus verse, which is a verse from the reading that is a reminder of the story at hand. It is a place to hang our hat, to jog our memory.  Focus on this verse, talk about it, unpack the meaning, act it out, chant it. In short-- Engage with this verse. This verse in some instances can be used as a memory verse. When it is not as helpful for memorizing we have provided an alternate.

2.     Make memorizing a game. In the introduction we’ve included a set of memorization games. Use them. Have fun. In addition you can copy them and send them home as something fun to do with parents.  

3.     Skip the rewards. The fact is if we label some as winners, some will be labeled as losers. Memorizing can be fun and engaging, but it should never be equated with worth. Worth is embedded in extrinsic rewards, so just steer clear. 

4.    Be aware. There are going to be some children who struggle to memorize. Meet these children where they are. Ask them to tell you what they would like to try. Let them be the guide. 

5.    Embrace freedom. Do what is best for your class. Remember we are teaching children, not curriculum. 

May God bless us all with his living words of life. 

May we have the ears and hearts to hear. 

Unpacking LWGFC: Connect, Using the Timeline

In Life with God for Children while we are engaging in life together we are also engaging in the lives of those in the Bible who have journeyed with God. We notice when they walk with God and when they walk away from God. We are learning the ways (spiritual disciplines) that they have connected with God and doing the same.

“ A lost coin is found by means of a candle; the deepest truth is found by means of a simple story.” –Anthony De Mello

During the Connect movement in the lesson cycle the children are given the opportunity to tell the stories they have heard in the past weeks. They use the time line and the Bible verses attached to it as a reminder. Ask for two or three volunteers and invite the rest of the class to practicing listening with the ear of their heart.

More clearly, invite the children listening to pay attention to what God might have to say to them through this telling of Biblical stories. In our culture of talking-talking-talking, it is helpful to remind children what listening looks like. It looks like sitting still, making eye contact, nodding their head.  

You may notice that the storyteller might not tell the story exactly as it was told or read. Instead they might tell the story they most need to hear. They might let you in on the deepest truth that has them wondering or the deepest truth that has touched their heart.

Try not to correct the storyteller, unless the story is grossly off. If the child asks for help telling a story feel free to help, but as much as possible refrain from correcting.

In each telling of the story the children are making the stories part of their own emotional and mental history. With each telling they are weaving the Biblical narrative into their soul.

“Every story you tell is your own story.” –Joseph Campbell

In reality these stories are their own stories. Like Moses they will learn to listen for God and know his voice. Like Ruth they will learn that submission is the stuff of love and friendship. Like Mary they will invite Jesus into their lives and meditate on his presence with them.

When the storytellers have finished give the listening children a chance to share in one sentence what God may have said to them, always on an invitation only basis.

So,

Blessed adult,

Who has the chance to hear the Biblical stories of those who walked with God

Through the heart of a child,

Settle in

This is going to be good. 

Unpacking LWGFC: Sacred Spot or a bright idea for helping hurting kids

Sacred Spot

Some of the children in our communities will be carrying deep wounds. Incidentally these children are often the ones who will act out.

Can I make a bold suggestion? Set aside two adults and a quiet spot. Look for and invite two adults to be a listening presence to children during class time. Creating a sacred space where children who are hurting can come and talk with an adult is much needed in our churches where we have for the most part ignored the pain of children.

Shaking our heads and saying, “Poor baby,” is not enough.

This sacred spot might look like two chairs and a cross. It might look like a candle and a stuffed animal. It might include items like blank paper and crayons, bubbles or a finger labyrinth. In this space the adult can say to child,

“Tell me why you are sad.”

This is not a spot for lectures, or teaching, or even sharing our own stories. In this spot the children are sharing and the adult is listening and praying for the Spirit to do what the Spirit does best and comfort this hurting child. The hurts that are shared may seem incidental or monumental. Our job is to listen without judgment.

A child may share something with you that requires action. Talk of abuse should be taken seriously and shared immediately with your pastor or the child abuse hotline. 

When the child has finished sharing the adult can ask the child,

“Would you like to talk with God?”

This is where the paper and crayons are helpful. Depending on your supplies, a shallow dish of sand can be a place to draw a prayer to God, so can paints and paper, or bubbles, where children can blow their prayer to God.  Even finger labyrinths can be places children can tell their hurts to God.   

Encircle the children gracious Christ. 

Where there is brokenness bring healing. 

Where there is anxiety bring comfort. 

Where there is loneliness bring your presence. 

We know you love the children and we trust you. Amen. 

*This bright idea didn't come from my brain, but from the heart of Leanne Hadley. I heard her speak about it at a conference.  

Unpacking Life with God for Children (LWGFC): Prayer with Children

The lesson cycle in LWGFC includes a prayer practice. In order for prayer to become a part of the lives of children we not only teach about prayer but we open the space for children to experience a conversational relationship with God.

The prayer rhythm in LWGFC includes a space for requests and a space for making the request. Most of us first begin to pray when we are in need. While it may make adults uncomfortable, children have needs as well. They have wounds and worries. Making time for the prayer practice is a rhythmic reminder that God is near, God is listening, acting and cares about and for them. 

Taking time for sharing and making requests teaches children listening skills and empathy. Both of which are much needed in our day of rabid talking and judging. 

Suggestions:

You don’t have to follow the rhythm of requests clockwise and prayer counter clockwise, but have a rhythm. Rhythm helps children to know what to expect. Children who struggle socially find safety in a rhythm. They may not share immediately, but will open up after several weeks of the same rhythm.

Don’t worry about time. While it may be wise to help summarize the boy who talks too long about his dog, be sure everyone has a chance to share. If the children are sincerely engaged in sharing their needs and then praying about them, rest in that. Remember we are teaching children, not curriculum. Go with the flow of the Spirit.

The teacher should share requests and pray as well. Vulnerability breeds vulnerability. There is no way around it. It goes without saying that adults need to be mindful of what they share; making sure it is appropriate for children. However, sharing a request and an expectation that God will answer not only helps children to share, but it will build their trust in God. It will build yours too.  

This is a discipleship community and you are learning together. Conversation with God is the goal. Let the rest go.

Always invite. Never force. What God is doing in the life of children is often hidden. Trust that God is at work.

A child may share something with you that requires action. Talk of abuse should be taken seriously and shared immediately with your pastor or the child abuse hotline.

God has been in pursuit of these children since their creation. Prayer together will give them language to enter into a conversation with God. It will remind them that they are never alone, that God is near and eager to respond in love. 

Unpacking Life with God for Children (LWGFC): Center Down

If you are tracking with us through the curriculum we are on the second bolded phrase in the lesson cycle: Center Down. 

Center Down is a Quaker phrase that essentially represents a process of quieting the body, mind and spirit. It is a space to remember, “Ah, Yes. I am a child of God.” In our increasingly loud, loud, loud world it’s a place of quiet.

Children? Quiet? Have I met children, seen children, or ever been a child?

Our assumption that children cannot be quiet is a false one. Remember back to that time we were standing in the kitchen and the children were playing in another room and all the sudden it fell quiet. We rushed into the other room to find our children “up to something.” They weren't necessarily quiet because they didn’t want us to hear instead they were absorbed, completely enthralled, in watching a spider creep across the floor, or a Lego structure built just right, or the grand masterpiece they have just finished creating on their baby brother in permanent marker.

Children can be quiet and reflective they just need something that is compelling to ponder.

Jesus is the place of quiet that we all need. The centering down space in LWGFC is an open, quiet space for Jesus to meet the children.

We open this space first by telling the body, “Hey this is different than normal.” One way to do that is to remove our shoes and leave all electronic at the door. A little bench inside the door helps to make this process quick and relatively painless. Invite the children to remove their shoes and tuck their electronic inside one shoe. Place them both under the bench. 

We create an environment that lends itself to quiet and invite the children into it with our presence.  

That environment might look like books and throw pillows. It might look like coloring pages and coloring pencils. It might look like finger labyrinths and quiet music. It might even look like teaching the children a breath prayer and breathing it with them.

The only must have requirement is an adult or two depending on how many children. As I mentioned in the last post, the children follow you. If you are resting in quiet with Jesus, they will rest in quiet with Jesus. If the teacher is up preparing or chatting with folks, or checking FB (guilty.) the children generally won’t Center Down.  I don’t know about you, but I could use a quiet space a few minutes, no more than 12-15 minutes, to “be” in the quiet with Jesus and his children.

A Few Tips: These are tips, suggestions—not law. Sometimes they work, sometimes not so much.

·      Rhythms take time to establish. You and the children might need a little time to get used to this slower, quieter pace. “Be still and know that I am, God,” doesn’t happen overnight. So give everyone (including yourself) a little grace. Begin with 5 minutes, then try 10, and so forth. But keep working on it don’t give up.

·      12-15 minutes is a guideline, not a deadline. We are teaching children, not curriculum. So if the children are really settling down into the quiet, stay there as long as you can. They may need it. You will be able to tell where they are if you are with them, sitting, coloring, resting in the quiet. Pay attention to both the children and the Spirit. Is She moving you on to Prayer Time (which we will talk about in the next blog post) or is She speaking to them in the quiet?

·      Children’s Books: Here are a few lovely ones that might be helpful during Center Down.

• Psalm 23 by Tim Ladwig
•  Glory by Nancy White Carlstrom and Debra Reid Jenkins
•  The Blessing of the Beasts by Ethel Pochocki
•  Journey to the Heart by Frank X. Jelenek and Ann Boyajian
•  Owl Moon by Jane Yolen and John Schoenherr
•  Granddad’s Prayers of the Earth by Douglas Wood and PJ Lynch
•  Our Solar System by Ian Graham
•  The Universe by Ian Graham
•  And the two very best…. Images of God: For Young Children by Marie-Helene Delval and Barbara Nascimbeni and Psalms for Young Children by Marie-Helene Delval and Arno

·      Labyrinths can be found all over the Internet. Here is one example, http://www.relax4life.com/finger-labyrinths.html

• Invite children into a conversation with God as they move their fingers. On their way into the center space invite the children to talk to God. To tell God about their week, what makes them happy, sad, or worried. Once they get to the center, breathe three deep breaths—One for the Father, One for the Son and One for the Holy Spirit. As the children move outward from the center invite them to listen for God to speak to them.

·      My opinion is that traditional children’s color pages are terrible. Full of stereotypes and mostly bad art. Try a few of these instead:

•  http://prayingincolor.com/handouts
•  http://www.lindisfarne-scriptorium.co.uk/gallery/digital-products-c-69.html
•   http://www.amazon.com/Christian-Mandalas-Family-Coloring-Book/dp/0976271753/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1441895382&sr=8-3&keywords=christian+mandalas+coloring  (Have not used this book, but I want to.)
• Lastly, use color pencils. Helps us to color slower, better feel on the paper, and there is something a little more earthy, grounded about wood rather than plastic. 

·      Breath Prayer for children:

• Close your eyes. Breathe in and say, “Jesus.” Breathe out and say, “Loves me.”
• Keep breathing “Jesus Loves me” until you know he is beside you. 

(Go ahead, you can try that now. It's good for adult souls too.) 

Background Notes for Teachers: Getting in on your life with God

For the next several weeks this blog is dedicated to unpacking Renovaré’s Life with God for Children curriculum. I hope to be able to provide some clarity, maybe some tips, suggestions, ideas and if the Spirit is willing and I’m not so hard headed, some wisdom too.

I had the great honor to be a public school teacher at Lincoln School #22 in Rochester, New York. The children, teachers, and administrators taught this very green twenty-five year old more life lessons than I can ever remember. (Sorry about that.)

It was here that I learned that children can spot a fake at fifty paces. If you don’t believe me try substitute teaching, which I did for about a year and I’m here to say those folks need to be paid more.

I’m not saying that substitute teachers are fakes; I’m saying they don’t have a permanent long-lasting stake in what happens in that classroom. Most really do love the children. Most are doing a great job, but they won’t be there day after day. Their lives aren’t interwoven with the children or the content. And the children know it.

For this reason, the lesson cycle in Life with God for Children (LWGFC) begins with Background Notes for Teachers.

You’ll notice it consists of page numbers from the Life with God Bible, which you can buy over at the Renovaré site. While the content within these pages do give a background to the story, there is more going on than background information. The pages also give the teacher ways to experience God and therefore grow in their own walk with God. It’s a space to grow in the abundant life that God has for them.

Is the Life with God Bible absolutely necessary? No, but it’s helpful. What is necessary is that every teacher is in a growing relationship with God. The curriculum is designed to engage both the children and adults in a life with God.

Outside of their time with the children, adults need to have ways they commune with God. Maybe it is reading the Bible, a daily prayer practice, living the Seasons of the Church, fasting, nature walks or worship. If you are looking for ways to go deeper in your life with God check out Richard Foster’s book Celebration of Discipline.

Inside of their time with the children, adults can cultivate a listening and learning heart by asking the question, “How is God connecting with me through these children?” I think Jesus was pretty clear when he said the children would lead us into his kingdom. (Matthew 19:14)

You, teacher have an amazing opportunity to meet Christ in the children. They will teach you things about God you never knew. They will teach you things about you, you didn’t want to know. (Sorry about that.) And things you hoped were true, but couldn’t believe until it came from a tiny person who smelled of Fruit Loops.

The bottom line is we miss out on our life with God if we’re not “smokin’ what we’re selling.”[1] If we aren’t leaning into the abundant life that God promises, if we aren’t learning to live our lives with God, the children won’t either.

As much as we may try to fake it, children know. And they will follow.

May all that is unforgiven in you

Be released.

May your fears yield

Their deepest tranquilities.

May all that is unlived in you

Blossom into a future

Graced with love.

-John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us, 97. 

[1] This is a phrase I have heard over and over from my Grandmother. It’s a jaunty way to say, “live what we teach.” It in no way endorses smoking. And while I live in Colorado, we don’t smoke the flora either.  

Life with God for Children or With Squared

Ten years ago my desire was to write a curriculum I would want to use. One that would foster and feed the relationship between children and God.

As I began to imagine how to structure this enormous project, I had some specifics in mind, things I had learned in my years with children and my years with working with curriculum. As an educator, I have seen lots of curriculum. Public schools have a tendency to blame curriculum for their problems and therefore change them quite frequently. (As do churches, but I’ll save that for another discussion.) In addition, I have written curriculum.

There is a temptation for adults to train children like they are cyborgs. (Forgive me for my sci-fi terminology.) We think we are beginning with a blank slate that is passively moldable under our influence. Rather than crack open the “nature verses nurture” debate, let me just say that it’s both and more. Children come installed with their own temperament, developmental pace, and even with their own imprint of the image of God. As they grow, their life experiences will be part of that formation.

Life with God for Children is moldable to the child. There are portions for nearly every kind of learner, there are options, and there are developmental levels. It can be changed, and it should be changed to meet the needs of the children we teach. We are teaching children, not curriculum.

The second thing I was looking for in a curriculum was an experience with God. Children are constantly being taught. We teach them new words, we teach them to brush their teeth and make their beds. At school they learn math, reading, and science. The kind of direct teaching we do makes them passive participants and the learning experiences never really become their own. When we employ these methods in Christian formation, we are risking inoculating children against the very abundant life we want them to have. This is not the best way to learn, this is not the way that sustains or the way God teaches us.

Like adults, children need an experience with God.  Life with God for Children makes the space for children to have an experience with God. Children are often asked to listen to God, and act on what God says to them. The space is made for them to experience God in the twelve classic spiritual disciplines woven into everyday life.

The story goes that as we got down to publication time we were stuck for a title.

Stepping Stones? No, it was already used.

Kids Life? No, I like the respectability of the word “Children.”

Toe Jam? I loved it, but couldn’t convince anyone else. Respectability left the building.

So we settled on Life with God for Children. But frankly it still isn’t perfect. If we are “doing” this curriculum for children and are not engaging in life with God ourselves it’s not going to fly. Children can spot a fake at fifty paces; and in addition we, adults, are missing out on the very life Jesus came to bring us. It is like trying to serve a gourmet dinner and refusing to taste it. The guests are going to think something is fishy. As a result it is designed with a section for the spiritual formation of the adult. 

Life with God for Children could have been called With Squared. It is spiritual formation material for children and their adults. It is food for a life with God with children. We are co-pilgrims with these folks who teach us patience and kindness and childlike abandon to the Father. They are good at it, and we have much to learn.

Life with God for Children, for God’s children, the young and the old. 

The Discipline of Wandering

Summer affords me the easy rhythms of wondering and wandering. Here in Colorado we’ve had loads of rain- so these days I’m wandering hip deep in clover. Pulling it up out of my garden and wandering it over to grateful goats and one stubborn horse.

Most mornings I wander out the kitchen door, to sit on the deck and watch the cat wander herself into my lap. After a while I wander over to a spot gone wild from neglect and rummage around for a few asparagus shoots.

Sometimes I wander alone, other times I wander with my kids. They lead; I follow.

We wander in search of spring’s new flower. We wander abandoning our sight and leaning heavily on sound in search of baby blue birds, the percussion of grass gone to seed and the syncopated cicada.

Wandering, by most accounts is aimless. The idea that anything in the Christian life is aimless might trigger some push back. I mean for crying out loud, this is a purpose driven life.

For just a minute, hold the trigger and ask yourself…

Just what would happen if I release my aim?

What would happen if I release my goal?

What would happen if I release the rat in the rat race?

In my wandering this summer, I am doing just that. Know what’s happening?

Grace. Rest. Wandering in the space of be-ing.

Hard as hell[1] for a driven person to refuse to drive. Requires the discipline of wandering.

What would it look like for you to submit to the Great Wanderer? He’s a pretty good guide.

Try wandering outside, leave your watch in the house, bring a child.

---

[1] I do not use this phrase glibly. Hell is hard. Like driving a stake in cement, like pounding our heads on brick walls. Heaven, however, is a bit like wandering into a pasture gone wild looking for asparagus shoots.

Fasting

Fasting: Giving up something on purpose so we can hear God better

Some ideas for practicing:

• We never encourage children to fast from food; it goes without saying that children are growing and need the nutrients. However they can give up desserts, sweets, video games, TV, etc.
• During Advent and Lent, invite your family into a reflective time asking the question: What “thing” is keeping me from hearing God clearly? Or What “thing” do I love more than God? Give that “thing” up during these seasons.

Learn more about fasting.

Study

Study: Learning about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit

Some ideas for practicing:

• On the first day of each new earth season, go on a nature walk, collecting items like leaves, rocks, flowers, dirt, feathers (in our case we collected animal poo). Bring them back and look up information about them.
• Engage your family in a reading of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John) using your imagination. After reading a passage invite people to answer: What did you see? What did you hear? What did you smell? What did you hear? What did you feel? And lastly, what did the Holy Spirit teach you?

Learn more about study.